Sweet Home Chicago

I hit the hot streets of the Windy City today, after a stint on the megabus (which turned out to be alright).  I’ll get some pitchers up soon, but in the meantime, a brief recap of the trip so far:

-Took a giant double decker blue bus on 6 hour trip across Illinois

-Took a somewhat more terrifying 10 minute cab trip across downtown Chicago

-Checked into the Double tree; received complimentary cookie (how has this not caught on everywhere?)

-Walked around for a bit and took some pictures

-Got a streetcorner sermon which revealed that liars, homosexuals, and smokers are all going to hell (together?)

-Bought some sweatshop produced clothing on the Magnicificent Mile

-Looked for areas where recent Batman movies were filmed

That’s it for today; stay tuned.

Think of the children!!!!

I’m starting to notice the beginnings of Fall- cool weather, candy corn, and a fleet of SUV’s and minivans parked on my street.  Yes, the first days of school, ever the harbinger of Fall, have come to Edwardsville.  Although it’s been 14 years since I was in elementary school, the school building across the street continues to play an important role in my life.

Every schoolday between August and May, I have to take a different route to work and allow lots of extra time to get wherever I’m going.  Not, as one might suspect, because of all the kids running amok.  No, the reason I can’t get anywhere is parents.  Parents who drive enormous vehicles to pick up little Billy and drive him back to the McMansion.  And not just a few parents.  Hundreds of them, in hundreds of enormous vehicles.  They’re like giant steel locusts, honking and cursing each other while they rush to protect their young from the dangers of the schoolbus.

Do all of these kids have a bus allergen?

Not that I blame them.  Schoolbuses are terrible.  Every ride on the bus is an assault on the senses, and not just for a few moments, like a porta-potty.  Schoolbus routes are designed to take you within sight of your home and then make a giant loop to drop off 45 other kids before it finally lurches to a halt in front of your door.  All you have to do during the ride is shut your eyes, breath through your mouth, hope you don’t get hassled by some jerk or barfed on by some sissy kid, and you’re home in no time!

Could this be why everyone in this country secretly (or overtly) hates mass transit (specifically buses)?  I believe so.  Anyone will gladly ride on a train (“isn’t that what they use in Europe?  How drole!”) or ride a ferry across a river, but just try and get them on a bus!   Not in this lifetime!

I’ll be taking a bus to Chicago soon, so I’ll let you know whether modern buses are able to un-traumatize me.

Rock you like a hurricane

000631 300x225I haven’t been able to write lately because I’m busy spreading fear about Gustav.  It’s not easy, you know; gas prices don’t just go up on their own!

In truth, I’ve been leading a markedly different lifestyle lately.  Some would call it conspicuous consumption- in the last month, Ape and I have acquired a Dyson, a new washer, a Wii Fit, and a motorbike.  Feeding this turbo-consumption is a new job and extra contracting work (which I intended to stop doing).  All this crap leaves me with less time to think; a full house and an empty head have I.

Is that a good enough reason not to write?  Has the acquisition of things replaced my drive to write?  Not really.  It’s also summertime (only for a few more days), and it turns out I’m a seasonal blogger.  During these lovely midwestern summer days, my attention is turned outward, not inward.

So that’s that.  I won’t beat myself up over not writing often enough; I’ll need to save my strength for the political banter to come this Fall.